Everything that's old is new again. I need a fresh place.
I have longed to be separate and hidden since I was a little girl. My life can get crowded; sometimes you wanna go where everyone doesn't know your name. It is not so much that I am not willing to share thoughts with the blogosphere, but that I want space without all of the trappings of my life attached. Somewhere were I share without being noticed by the eyes of the too close.
I have heard so much news these days about transparency in our lives and the after effects. Well I propose something quieter. Something to share in the quiet corners. There are vast expanses of self that are muted.
With all of the unmasking my mystery has stopped. My face feels lost, my body is somehow less powerful. I am a bit lost in all of this. I was in a fog of pain, grief, loss of control; I have been stripped down to nothing. I have lost almost everything. The security that I had fell away like leaves.
From nothing, no pride, no plan, I have had to start over and build everything alone. There is no can't in my world now. There is nothing but myself to stop the big bad world. I have recreated as much as I could for the children. It is the price. It has been more than I expected.
This song has always brought me solace. Come here, my star has faded. My star has faded. I am some much smaller and older than I have ever been. Who is the person that I have become?